Spanish for "Whale's Vagina"

That's right, it's the second half of my ride to SAN DIEGO.

After stopping for a sandwich at Giovanni's (wayyy to long, but it was a beautiful day!) The girls geared back up and we were on our way.



Betsy dons gloves and Steph cranks up the iPod




After climbing the dreaded hill at Torrey Pines we took the fast, windy architectural tour of UCSD where I was questioned repeatedly by the girls if I knew where the hell I was going. Sadly I did. :)


After a nice stretch between the 5 fwy and some rolling grassy hillsides I was again grilled by the ladies as to whether I had any idea where we were, or how to get where we were going. The bike trail becomes a labyrinth: crossing city streets, funneling beneath a few underpasses, and winding over a trail that is barely recognizable as a trail. Again I DID actually know what I was doing and it was a short stint before we were cruizing by beautiful Mission Bay.



After passing by Old Town and being narrowly missed in merging traffic by a hard-charging city bus, we finally arrived at the downtown.


Making our way to the Amtrak station we were regretfully told that the train leaving in 10 minutes had already attained its 6 (that's right six) bicycle limit and we were out of luck. We were fortunate enough to be #4,5 & 6 on the list for the next train, though - an hour later. If anyone has ever ridden, or considered riding somewhere in connection with taking a train, you will contact Amtrak immediately to tell them they need more storage space for bicycles.

We did have a nice wait, though, as the sun descended and we enjoyed our cups of coffee (definitely NOT alcohol! ;) ). COFFEE.











And finally we enjoyed the leisurly cruise back home on the choo choo.

"Stay classy San Diego."

D.P. to S.D.

WHAT? Two blogs in one week? This can't be!

Well the official Dana Point to San Diego road ride took place on Saturday, so here's the wrap-up for all of you losers who couldn't make it.


Blogger is taking forever to upload the pics, as well as not putting them in the order I upload them, so I'll have to make this a 3 parter. WHAT? More blogs??? Unthinkable! But why do they make it so damn hard compose these things? GALL?


After riding from my casa in the SJC and hooking up with the Betsy and Steph in DP, we made final tire pressure adjustments and were on our way. We shot down the hill into Doheny, through onto PCH, and south past San Clemente. It was only then I remembered "Hey! I've got a fricken camera in my jersey!"

Other rideers found themselves helpless as we formed a paceline (me pacing, them lining), and trucked by at high speed.




We soon found ourselves entering San Onofre State Beach, encountering the worst sign EVER.


I know my lovely companions are married and all, but a guy can dream can't he? No, he can't, when there are signs like this jolting him back into reality.

Fortunately I was able to pull myself back together and continue the ride. Upon entering Camp Pendleton Marine Base we encountered a horrible group of Tri weenies. Not able to hold a consistent pace for more than 90 seconds, the girls suddenly found themselves in what felt like 405 rush hour traffic as the group of 15 again and again sped past them, only to putter to a crawl moments later. I don't understand. Luckily for me I got ahead of all but two of them, so I felt the affects much less severly.


We finally made it to Oceanside, though, and basked in the awesomeness of another day of winter in SoCal. Sorry Tookie, Maybe when they thaw you out they'll put you in a movie with Pauly Shore?






More next time...

Groundhog Day

The real Punxsutawney Phil this morning in Pennsylvania predicting 6 more weeks of winter. Uh oh California, six more weeks of high 60s before it gets back up to 78. Yikes! Actually, records show that Phil has only been right 28 percent of the time, which means it's more likely that spring already here (tell that to Kentucky, though).












I obviously prefer the cinematic version:



Waking up day after day on Feb. 02, Bill Murray goes berserker trying to endlessly woo Andie MacDowell while hanging out with the likes of Chris Elliot. Great stuff.

PCH Ride

I know, I know, I'm the worst blogger ever.

Here are some phone pics from my weekly ride south on PCH from the casa. No, I didn't plan ahead and bring a real camera, but these turned out pretty good actually.

I know Chris will enjoy this most of all, since he has probably already bought battery-operated socks so he can build igloos in his front yard and not freeze to death in the sub-zero temperatures he is no doubt experiencing O hi o.


I started taking pics on the way back north to the house. This crazy 3 degree rise may be steeper than any hill found in Chris's current state.





















The lifeguard towers get drunk in the parking lot in the afternoon and reminisce about that one time Nicole Eggert ran down the sand in front of them in super-slow-motion.
























Speaking of bouncing, this next one is the set of bodacious bazoongas on the San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station. That's right SONGS. The only tune you'll hear if this 2,200 megawatt reactor melts down, though, is "Taps."

























But enough of the depressing stuff, here's the nipple shot!
























Look ma, no hands!

Actually, don't look ma, I'm sure you'll be frightened and chastise me. "But mom, everyone's going 'hands-free' nowadays!"
























And finally, a couple last pics as that big ball o fire plunges into the ocean.



























Happy Trails!

DH2

Here are some Lizard Pics, taken by pro photographer Bill Freeman. Check out www.freemanimages.com for samples of his sweet photos and for his contact info.

Bombin the "Sonic S"














Hikin back up












Flyin down again:

DH Vegas???

I was fortunate enough to participate in the 25th annual Leaping Lizard dowhill race in Laguna Beach, CA. Though my cajones are not of sufficient diameter to qualify me as a true downhiller I do enjoy a gravity based competition a few times a year, and this is one of em.
Armed with my tank-like Kona Dawg (and it's angry 5 inches of travel), all the plastic armor I can find (gathering dust in boxes the garage), a full face helmet (in case I start bouncing off of trees like a pinball), and of course my Cedric Gracia carbon knuckled 661 gloves (for punching anyone who tries to pass me). I venture forth.

Usually this race ends up being a teeth chattering, I can barely hang on to the finish, why am I doing this event, but this year was different. With the plethora of recent rain here in SoCal and the gumption of a dozen or so dedicated riders, immense hours of trail work were put into the course, the famed Telonics, making it a dream to ride down. Blue grooved ruts and stutter-bumps became super-flat tacky brown earth. Corners were banked like turn 3 at Daytona. The chin guard on my helmet hid my wide grin as I flew (well, flew for ME!) down the hill.

The two run format and DIY shuttle system (as in "hike your own ass up the entire course pushing your bike") allowed me to keep my heart rate up and finish a scant 57 seconds behind race winner Brian Lopes, who sported his new powder blue Ibis refitted with a long-travel fork. He better look out for me this year, I might decide to try 4X (if my swelled noggin can fit into a full face helmet anymore!) HA!


After the race, beer drinking and food mowing ensued as well as the awards ceremony which featured Hans "No Way" Rey

on speakerphone via Mission Hospital. That's right. Unfortunately the Trials champion, Skillsmeister General and all-around speed demon crashed earlier in the week preriding the course. Ejecting off the famed "Volkswagon Rock"(which is called that because it's the size of a VW bug) he shattered his ankle. Did naming the new Kenda tire he helped design the "Telonix" jinx him??? We'll never know, but our thoughts and prayers are with him for a speedy recovery.

Luckily no one else was injured and the race was a blast. With Johnny T's Primer 220 coming out soon, I just might have to look at doing some more DH races.

OOOOOOOOOr maybe not. :)

Deflowered

Huh huh. La Negra and I got it on this weekend! A loop that included going up Trabuco and down Bell; a fine way to break her in. The recent rains have made the trails incredible. Super lush foliage and super tacky soil (That's Bell that starts on the right and ends waaaaaaay down there in the middle left-just above the bush).

She likes it dirty.

Thanks to my bike shop BUY MY BIKES! for gettin her all together. And thanks to all the sponsors for the bitchin parts: XPEDO MF-4A pedals, SUNLINE/661 carbon bars and lock-on grips, SIGMASPORT computer, KENDA Kharisma tires, and of course Joel and John at TOMAC for the frame. This baby flies and I can't wait to get her to the races!

Tired

When your rubber looks like this:

It's time for some o' this:Shiny brand spankin new Kenda Kriteriums for the road bike. Sweeet!

IT'S A GIRL!

Record Of Birth
hereby recorded in the Clerk's Office of the County of Orange
State of California

Name: La Negra ___________ Sex: Female

Weight: 26 lbs, 12 oz. _______ Length: 42.8 inches

Born this 18th day of February, 2008
at South County 'General' Cyclery

More pics of the beautiful newborn to follow!

Ugh a bug

Well here's an update for my loyal readership, since I know it's been awhile.

I will finally be back on the bike this weekend, after having maybe 5 rides in the past 4 weeks. I believe I finally coughed up the last phlegmball today from being sick. Last Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday was entirely spent huddled under the covers with the heated mattress pad on, rarely awake for more than a few hours. Sore throat and clammy, then moving into the sinus swelling and mucus manufacturing by the weekend.

Before that I was dealing with my 'Roid Rage again. Not the Cy Young award winning, Grand Jury indicting, speech impediment inducing, nervous lip licking kind that Roger Clemens undoubtedly has, but the kind where I'm sitting on a fiery bag of marbles. Not STEroid but HEMRrhoid. Doesn't make for a happy bike-riding scenario. Or really any other scenario.

That and the rain off and on, like I said has decreased my spin time from 5 or 6 times a week to 1 if any.

Also, since I know you're all dying to find out, the mighty Tomac Carbide has been slowly coming together. A mass part ordering was done ahead of time at my LBS, the wonderful Buy My Bikes!, to be added onto later by sponsor product including a new Marzocchi Corsa fork, sweet Sunline Carbon V-1 bar and new half-waffle lock-on grips, and eventually a blingy wheelset. However, when the Sunline stuff showed up and I decided to use the Marz Marathon from the Litespeed and a WTB wheelset I had hangin in the garage to get the build going, a few choice parts were found lacking from my metal cornucopia. Number one being the reducer headset needed for the girthy Tomac carbon headtube. Number two being the ultra pimp aluminum Nokon derailleur cable housing. Apparently Xzibit had a '71 Pinto he was tricking out with Shimano 9 speed and had to appropriate the stuff. So a little delay. No biggy except that I WANT IT NOW! :)

I'll keep y'all updated.
Layta

I "hollow, pumplike organ of blood circulation" YOU

GEORGE NOT BUSH

YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS GUY.

A wonderful Message by George Carlin:

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be a round forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all MEAN IT. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind."

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


If you don't send this to at least 8 people .... Who cares?

Bert Hurting People

The other 'Cross

I did my first CX race Sunday morning! With the The Hurt & Crash, V-dog, The Hitman, The Cap'n and even former teammate White Chocolate all professing the wonders of Cyclocross, I finally had to give in and do one. Friday night's Lagwagon show and Saturday night's drinking probably weren't the ideal precursors to a race, but hey, what the hell.

30 seconds into the race is when I believe I racked up the 203 BPM on my Sigma heart rate monitor, but that was about 15 seconds after Brant and half of my category were already out in front of me! I managed not to get stuck behind any of the technically challenged riders, though, and was able to calm my HR down a notch or two and settle in. My hearty cheering section which included Rog, Ryan, and the ladies Brant had shuttled in for the occasion gave me the much-needed motivation to keep plugging away lap after lap, too. Headwinds in a couple spots and the (luckily only one) portage section were definitely power suckers.

I decided against demo'ing a cross bike and stuck with my trusty Tanasi hardtail. Rog outfitted me with his XTR wheelset sporting some Kenda Kwicker 1.8s I believe, which definitely put it closer to CX shape, but I guess I will have to try a "real" CX bike in the future.

Unfortunately, halfway thru the race I was apparently assaulted by a not-quite-fossilized avian skeleton. That's correct, I took a chicken bone to the rear tire! Even a Slime tube was no match for this osteopathic onslaught. I slowly began to depressurize, wobbling a little more and more around every turn. So slothful was its seepage that I thought I could finish the race on it, but on the third lap of leaking, I realized I would never make it to the finish. In true Backbone team style, though, Ryan sprinted out to the truck and retrieved my Spinergy rear wheel, and on the next lap I pulled in for my Nascar wheel change!

Adrenaline still rushing thru me I was not even No help, I was completely detrimental to the process. Roger ended up bleeding and 5 people passed me, but I had a quick drink of water as he tightened my QR and I was off again with two laps to go.

I was amazed at how much I was able to keep my speed constant thru the race as others were slowing, and with the fresh 60 PSI Small Block 8 rejuvenating my vigor I was able to catch and pass four of the five who had gotten by me in the pit. One guy gave me challenge as he was quicker over the obstacles than I was, but soon after we were back on the pedals I was around him again. I had the fifth in my sights as we rounded the last corners to the finish, but was too far back to catch him. I would have to settle for 12th, but all things considered I'm content. I'll be back out there in a couple weeks, though, (maybe with a CX bike) and we'll see what I can do.

Criss Cross'll make ya...

I found out how small Aliso Woods is yesterday when I tried to mountain bike for an entire 2 hrs at high speed. Entering from the Mormon church entrance on the Aliso Viejo side I got a little warm-up before hitting Mathis and climbing up it to the Top of the World (Laguna entrance). From there I bombed down the ridgeline fireroad and down Rockit, which turns out to be pretty bone-jarring the first time you've ridden it on a hardtail in months! Glancing at my new SigmaSport Onyx watch (sponsor plug) I noted that I had only burned up 40 minutes and would definitely need to rethink the remainder of my planned route!

Sooo, what's the longest closest climb I could come up with? Well, back up Rockit, of course! Five minutes later as I turned the corner to the trail's namesake battery of babyheads, I tried not to smirk as a family-type group of five and a few others making their was down looked at me in amazement: Who goes UP Rockit? Nut-jobs like me, that's who!

Back at the top I stopped for a drink of agua but had to jump back on the pedals when a 40-something couple started down the trail. NOT that I'm prejudiced, but they just didn't look like they were in the same forties that "The Hurt" is. I couldn't tell if he was trying or not, but I was already putting time on him before the singletrack. My second time down the trail right in a row difinitely gave me an advantage, and even though he had full suspension I never heard from him, even when I had to slow down for my second painful trip down Babyhead Boulevard. Trying to keep my bones from shaking loose, I was impressed to see two guys making their way up. Were these guys complete nut-jobs? I hope so, I need the company!

Back at the bottom once again, my hands and feet aching, I focused on getting back up to speed heading out Coyote Run. As I crested a little rise, a little boy (7?) riding the other direction asked his dad behind him "What do I do Daddy?" I had already pulled over so he told him to keep going. The dad was also towing his daughter in a trailer behind him. Sweeet!

Out off of Coyote and onto Wood Canyon fireroad I quickly arrived at Cholla. Left right left right...etc etc...switchback madness. Back onto the West Ridge fireroad and aaaaaaaaall the way back to the Top o the World.

A quick look at the sun about to plunge into the ocean and I shot past the picnic tables and onto the pavement on my way to Meadows. Once "The Muther Of All Climbs" when it was an almost straight line, it has now been castrated with switchback upon switchback and though it's still a good climb it's now suitable for descending as well.

Back onto the valley floor and I still have 15 minutes to kill! I speed up the canyon to the bottom of Mathis and hook a left onto the (relatively) new Dripping Cave Loop. A nice bit of singletrack with a mix of ups n downs and a lot of sandstone. The recent rains have made the foliage super moist and green, and the trail between the rocks is fantastically tacky. It's not a long enough, though, so I race back around and do it again!

Back out to the canyon fireroad I swing right and begin the cruise back to the truck. 5:00 and the sun has been down for 15 minutes and I just beat the last pinch of light as I roll onto the pavement.

Even though I almost quadrupled back on myself, it was still a fun ride. :)

For something seriously wild, check out the following site I found that has a history of the park, and a trail map and photos that are probably 10 YEARS OLD! (Before thousands of identical stucco houses and a toll road were built on two sides of the park) Wacky stuff!

www.biketrails.com/alisowood.html

The Legend

As you may or may not know Evel Knievel passed away. This guy was the fucking man. His middle name was Cajones! See Jimbo's blog for a couple great vids. In addition to the crazy gyro powered chopper bike I also had this:



...that you rolled up in a ball and then tried to find the highest tree to climb or somebody's roof to throw it off of!

And the Muther Of All Electric Toothbrushes:

Words cannot express...

...the elation that washes over me. Especially since I don't have the time at the moment to sit and contemplate the right words. But the Brown Santa (yes, UPS) brought something for me:



And ohhh, baby!



My new frame is here. The sleek shiny sexy black carbon TOMAC CARBIDE XC-1. Courtesy of Joel Smith and Johnny T himself. The Hurt and I will be racing this vision of beauty and epitome of velocity next season and you better get a good look now, cuz it's gonna be flying by at high speed later and it'll be hard to see ;)

More Riding

After work on one o the last nights before the sun dwindled away I was able to shoot this one. Because it's shorter the quality ends up much better. Also I'm startin to use my editing software to it's full potential. Hope you likey!